No in advance

Really like this approach. I use some canned messages and text in my app ShortKeys. This feels like a sensible addition.

**I took an hour to write a really nice “no” in advance. ** Considerate, but decisive. Not too long, but not too short. Generalized and versatile for all situations.

I saved it on my computer and phone, to copy and paste. Now as soon as I get an unwelcome request? Tap-tap-tap. COPY-PASTE-SEND in three seconds, and it’s out of mind.

No anguish. No discomfort. No resentment. No procrastination.

…

I won’t post my text here, since it needs to be in your natural voice. But here’s my outline, in case it helps:

1. a clear “no” right away
2. gratitude, since I’m honored by my value implied in the ask
3. explanation that to stay focused on a bigger “yes”, I’m saying “no” to everything else
4. good wishes, and if my situation is temporary, an invitation to ask again next year

Four sentences is enough. Nobody wants verbosity here.

» Derek Sivers →